Mad March Hairs
Tuesday 26 March
Report by Jane Taylor
“Who's that?”
“I haven't a clue!”
“Who's that crazy dude?”
“No idea!”
Lots of laughter started the Mad March Hairs event as the competitors arrived sporting their hairdos and hats. There was Paddy McGinty, a Mystic March Hippy, a particularly mad looking Chill-out Dylan (or was it Brer Rabbit) and numerous members sporting rainbow hairdos. What a fantastic start to the day!
After a speedy briefing from Chill-out Dylan, the throng took to the well-manicured lawns with great gusto. A steady tap.of mallets reverberated under blue skies and sunshine. Mystic March Hippy clearly had his chakra aligned to the weather gods.
The rotating doubles matches were played with customary aplomb. Bold newbies Janet, Brenda and Valerie, playing like seasoned veterans alongside the regulars.
Clearly playing in hats and wigs has its drawbacks but even by lunchtime the hardy few, those claiming to be Alex, Tim, Clive Valerie, Rod, Anne, Peggy, Sally and Penny, along with the Mystic March Hippy and Chill-out Dylan were still in full headgear.
As the aroma of cottage pie and lasagne reached the lawns, the bell rang for lunch and there was a hasty scramble for the dinner table. Once more, the able members despatched enormous quantities of the delicious dishes giving loud thanks to the chefs, Glenys, Anne, Jane (I was so flattered), Clive and Jacky.
Then Waitrose and M&S took the floor, providing a delicious array of puddings - including Peggy's rocket fuel AKA treacle tart. Six puddings disappeared in a trice causing much groaning of waistbands.
'Back to the lawns', said Chill-out Dylan (Des in subtle disguise in case you hadn’t guessed!) and within minutes the steady clack of mallets resumed. Afternoon play meant you could pick your own partner and opposition. By mid afternoon, Tim Walder had established a lead after winning three consecutive games. He went on to win a fourth but didn't complete a fifth thereby leaving the field open to Marian and Cliff who won the event after a tight last minute fight with Penny and Brenda (in all the excitement they forgot to use all their extra turns!).
The judges wrestled long and hard with the decision on the best hat/hairdo. A decision was eventually reached with the prized bottle of Prosecco going to Paddy McGinty, who has just revealed themself to be none other than Paula Perks. Perhaps second prize (alas there wasn't one) would have been scooped by Mystic March Hippy, who turned out to be none other than John Tapscott.
Everyone had a great day and the weather held out until the very last game. We were very lucky!
February Fish and Chips
Report by Jane Taylor
Pavlov would have been proud to see the effect of the bell ringing to announce the arrival of the fish and chips. As instructed earlier by the Lord and Master of Newport, there was to be an immediate downing of mallets when the delivery arrived. Instant barely describes the spontaneity of the abandonment of the lawns when the bell was rung. Within seconds the players were transported to the tables with the golden fish and chips before them. It had been a chilly morning with 3 vigorous games of rotating doubles so those chips didn't stand a chance of survival. They were digested amidst a steady munching and chatter about the morning's play. Much gossip focussed on Helen Frenay's spectacular inaugural performance giving her three wins in her first Fun Day outing.
With the fish and chips despatched, it was time for Pudding Annihilation, a favourite game with Newport Club members. A startling performance as ever with Peggy taking on substantial quantities of her secret hoop winning elixir, treacle tart. Alistair as ever did us proud with the selection he so thoughtfully selected.
The afternoon play was fast and furious, the lawns had dried a bit and players selected their own partners. Trevor (with a treble pudding serving fuelling his mallet) was knocking balls through hoops at a furious pace.
Most players survived the 5 games, using their last energy to reach the club house for the final score announcement.
3rd was Helen Frenay, 2nd Alistair the Puddingmeister and, in a well deserved first place, Colin Carr.
Despite the culinary feast, the event made £25 for club funds. Thanks to everyone for participating with such gusto.
January Japes
16 members played in superb conditions of sunshine and blue skies.
There was a thought that January Japes fun day would be bouncing balls through snowdrifts or hitting snowballs with icicles. Who could have dreamt that we'd all enjoy such a glorious day bathing in sunbeams?
Even at the start the sky was blue as the 16 bold players synchronised their mobile phone timers ready for the onslaught of games of 10/10. Totally bamboozled by Des's briefing, there were audible mutterings as the players descended to the lawns to practise speed croquet . With a flurry of mallets and pinging of timers the games started with players moving at a trot (not quite the running Des had decreed was banned). Timing seemed simple for some , Penny Cook and Tim Walder mastered it straight away, whereas there were many fumble fingered players screaming with frustration as they unwittingly reset their timer mid game.
Conclusion drawn ..... you really need an extra pair of hands to time each game.
John GD did a sterling job keeping track of the scores and appeared to enjoy chin wagging with the contestants.
The morning passed at an incredible speed, the furious pace leading to player burnout. There was no need to drag people off the lawns for the baked potato and chilli lunch. (Thanks to Sally for her Vegetarian Chilli). No need to scrape any plates, they were all licked clean.
As usual, Alastair's cornucopia of desserts delighted the hungry throng and an ecstatic Peggy wolfed down her favourite treacle tart (perhaps this is the source of her secret power?).
A vote on the afternoon's choice of play overthrew the 10/10 and a move to ordinary doubles first to 4 level play was met with relief. An enthusiastic afternoon's games, still in warm sun, drew to a close as light faded.
A final tot up of the scores revealed the winning pair to be Colin Carr and Peggy Chapple, well deserved after such an astonishing performance.
So the big question is whether Peggy is using treacle tart to boost her technique or could it be Sue Bishops's breathing exercises that have promoted her to stardom.
A great time was had by all, a big thank you to all who participated and helped raise £45 for club funds.
Next Fun Day is February Fish and Chips on Tuesday 27th February.
One player place still available.
A non playing volunteer to be the scorer would be greatly appreciated
2024 Social Events
18th April - Soup Lunch
21st June - Strawberry Tea (and croquet, of course!)
2024 Coaching
Dates for your diaries
Cliff Jones will be running a series of GC courses
Internal GC sessions - Free to Newport Members
Tuesday 19 March, 1 day - handicaps 8 and above
Tuesday 16 April, 1 day - handicaps 5 and above
But also don't forget that informal GC coaching sessions are available for the hour before most social GC sessions on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, at 1pm. Check Lawn Booking system for latest.
External GC sessions - £15 to Newport Members
These are advertised by CE (Croquet England) to all clubs. Would be very good if we have a good Newport contingent as well.
Saturday 30 March handicap from 0-7
Saturday 20 April handicaps of 7 and above
External AC weekend sessions - £35 to Newport Members, £55 to outsiders
Weekend 27, 28 April, weekend Beginners Coaching
Weekend 4, 5 May, weekend Improvers Coaching
Internal SC sessions on Tuesday mornings with Mat. Check with Lawn Booking system.
2024 Tournaments
GC Tournaments at Newport
We are hosting 3 GC One-Day Tournaments, organised by Des and Jane
25 May, Saturday C level - £15
29 June, Saturday Ladies - £15
20 July, Saturday Doubles - £20
These will have an excellent lunch available for £10 - provided by Sally and Sue with help from others.
If these events are well attended the club will make a good amount of money.
Newport AC/SC Tournaments
18-19 May Open Advanced (Fran)
8-9 June B-Level Advanced (Fran)
7 July - Short Croquet (Alex)
Prices yet to be finalised, but there will be a BBQ lunch for the Short Croquet event, which promises to be the largest event we've ever hosted (due to the number of courts we can muster for SC).
Christmas GC Fun Day
The latest of Des’s monthly GC tournaments was on a Christmas theme – as can be seen from the picture below.
Des’s twist was to ditch Advantage in favour of Extra Turns – and this caused a bit of confusion among those trying to remember the most effective way to use them – and also what tactics to employ when playing against opponents that had them.
A very well-attended event with excellent weather. 20 players all having lunch and great chat.
The Joint winners were John & Sue Bishop and Des & Jane Taylor with 4 wins out of 5 games each
